Chocolate Factory
by SillyFairyGirl
Summary: A short parody I created awhile back while watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Rated "T" for language.


Got bored. Just a little something I typed up as I was watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Enjoy! (Or not)

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Remus looked around at the strong, towering trees all in a beautiful shade of the classic fall colors. Red, brown, yellow, and orange leaves fell off the trees landing on the browning grass that would soon become a pool of leaves by the end of the day. The sky above, in it's blue hour, was speckled with fluffy white cumulus clouds. The sun hid behind one of the massive clouds, causing rays of light to shine through, making the forest have an enchanting aura.

This was a place where a person could live life without worries or needs. Plenty of shelter from the occasional downfalls, plenty of warmth thanks to the bright and happy sun, and plenty of chocolate to nibble on when a person got hungry.

Wait - chocolate?

Nothing was at it would seem in this forest, for very few people would know the secret. Oddly enough, the secret was right in front of every curious persons gaze. The forest was entirely made up of chocolate. Though, I'm sure someone with a nose as sensitive as Remus' would be able to notice, but it isn't always wise to munch on chocolate from this forest. The chocolate could be poisoned, or enchanted! Nobody is stupid enough to eat the chocolate from this fore-

Remus plopped down in the middle of the forest floor, munching on some leaves that strangely tasted like chocolate. Humming merrily to himself, he downed three more chocolate leaves, one tasting a bit like dark chocolate. Standing up to rid his pants of stray pieces of chocolate leaves and grass, he started to make his way down hill. The forest had vanished completely, even when he looked back to see if he was just going mad or not. It was strange the way this happened, but he assumed that because this was a magical forest, it could do whatever the hell it wanted to.

Instead of running into nothingness, a river appeared out of thin air, and bright green grass appeared alongside the rushing stream. Remus edged closer to the mysterious body of water and dunked his finger in. He pulled it out and his finger was a dark brown color. Now, normally people would be a bit smarter and do the appropriate thing, which consisted of wiping the finger off and finding another past time just in case it was dog poop or some other fowl liquid, but Remus wasn't your average Joe. He was Remus. Werewolf by full moon, chocolate obsessed man by day.

Remus stuck his finger in his mouth savoring the taste of pure milk chocolate. Becoming greedy, he stuck his entire hand into the river and brought it back out to lap it up, moaning at the delicious taste tingling his taste buds. This reminded Remus of a dream he once had. A dream where he fulfilled his lifelong goal.

Bathing in a chocolate swimming pool.

Letting out an almost girly squeal, he stood up and removed his clothes, leaving only a pair of black boxers on. He did a perfect swan dive into the river, but ended up knocking himself out since the river wasn't that deep, and seeing as how it was filled with several pointy rocks near the bottom. Remus traveled down the river in his unconscious form for several minutes before waking up in a large room filled with trees, mushrooms, grass, and several other natural things. He lifted his body up out of the river, but fell over a rock and ended up bashing his head on yet another rock, this time on the waters edge. He was soon knocked out - again.

This time, he didn't wake up until several hours later. The first thing he noticed was that he was in the very same room as he had been in before. No sky. Just a blank ceiling with a few rafters. He would have went into more detail on the shapes of the rafters to bore the audience, but he was more creeped out over the fact that seven orange faced men were standing over him. They all had green hair, and appeared to have a terrible fashion sense.

Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah

If you're not greedy you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa

Oompa Loompa doompadee do

"What the fuck!" SMACK!

Remus woke up with a start having just been smacked in the face by Tonks. Normally a person would be upset if they were smacked awake, but Remus was still pondering over what happened in his dream. Without so much as a comment, he pushed pass Tonks and left his room, heading out towards the room where the meeting of the Order of the Phoenix was being held. Molly stopped fussing over Sirius' behavior and turned towards the werewolf standing in the doorway.

"Oh, good heavens! It's about time you woke up." Exclaimed Molly as she dashes over to her husband Arthur.

"Yeah. You've been screaming not stop in your room."

"We had to have Tonks go in to wake you up."

"Something about Oompa Loompa's."

"What are they?"

"Those are the tiny men in that movie Hermione let me wat-"

Remus stopped abruptly and stared in the doorway from the hallway to the kitchen. Everyone in the room repeated the process and stared along with him. Charlie Weasley had just walked in carrying several scrolls with a bewildered look on his face.

"Hey, guys. Um.. What's up?" He tilted his head to the side waiting for an answer, but was greeted with Remus walking slowly up to him as if he were about to take a knife to the heart.

"My dear boy.. tell me. Do you still have the golden ticket?"

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Taken from my second account, which seems to not be working properly.  
It's not very interesting (Or even good to say the least), but it's something that made me friends laugh. We were watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and my friend was reading Harry Potter as we were doing so. This is a joined effort, mainly. Though they mainly just gave me moral support by laughing their butts off while I typed away. (:  
Positive feedback = Love  
- SillyFairyGirl -


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